Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As shirtless as possible
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
