Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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