I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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