I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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