mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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