im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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