i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
