Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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