K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
