Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
