Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
