I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize