I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize