I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
