i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
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If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
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Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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