I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
