I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?