May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".