hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
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OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.