i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
