I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle