I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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