thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
