I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
