Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
