Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
