I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
bring money and cleavage
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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