Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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