I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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