well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
