it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.