apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?