My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Shame - the story of my life.
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