Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
