Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
