ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
