D3 body, D1 cock
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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