Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin