Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off