Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between