I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
