I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ketchup is God's man juice
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize