Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
