If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
