Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize