he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
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its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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