My room smells like vodka and shame
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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