you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Terrible idea I love it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
