Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
