As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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