i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
