hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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