new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
