I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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