im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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