please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!