NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
