I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
