Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
