I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
