Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
party gras won. party gras always wins.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
