when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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