so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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