If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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