Tell her she can't have a vagina
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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